The Accidental Fan Girl-ing

I have about six (possibly more) assignments due in a few weeks, but I chose to be irresponsible and typed out ‘WordPress’ on my search bar instead of “How do I make my animated character walk in Flash CS6”.

I’m not sure what I’m even going to write about today.

All I know, is that I had a busy week with very little sleep and all I want to do now is procrastinate – so that I have enough regret to motivate me into staying up till 3am for work later.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you procrastination is a bad thing.

^ My critical thinking skills are on a whole other level.

Sixth week of college is almost over and done with and I’m finally starting to get used to my new classmates, apart from the five I knew from diploma. I thought I was doing okay because after six weeks, people don’t remember how you tripped on *air* and almost fell on your first day of class. The embarrassing phase of avoiding eye contact with your juniors is gone. I thought that was the last of it.

AND THEN..

This happened.

So, there is this lecturer in college who I’ve been wanting to teach me since I attended this journalism workshop he gave about two years ago. I even got a copy of his book. My seniors tell me he’s good at what he does and that his classes are great. So obviously, being the person and student I am, I hope I end up in one of his classes. Cause, who doesn’t want to learn from the best, am I right?

I was caught up with something the other day, so my friends leave to go get some stuff done at the office. When I finally decide I can’t stand my own company, I go hunt for them and they tell me that they ran into this lecturer earlier.

One of my friends told him, “My friend, Kelly, really wants to meet you.”

“Oh, do I know her?”

“Nope, but I just know that she wants to meet you.”

It’s important to note that my friend is one of those who makes everything sound exciting, even when she’s not trying.

So yeah. I’m sure my lecturer, who had no idea I existed before this, now has to add the name ‘Kelly’ to the list of creeps he needs to avoid on campus.

There it goes, my first impression is ruined once again – before I even got the chance to speak.

I know, I’m overreacting, and he probably wouldn’t remember how my friend stopped him mid-way (he doesn’t know her either, btw – which makes it THAT much worse) and unintentionally made me the weird fan girl.

She means well, though.

So I went from hoping I end up in his class to praying I don’t. At least, not for another three semesters, so that he has the time to forget all of this ever happened.

But not me, I won’t forget. Because my anxiousness has a photographic memory of all the embarrassing events that has ever happened in my life. I still remember how I sang a song about poor people and poverty for my aunt’s wedding, and nobody told me that was weird because they thought it was cute.

I was 10.

Funny. All of these won’t matter next week when I’m losing hair over my impending Web Animation due date.

 

x

Kelly .

 

 

Advertisements

Of Ice Breakers and Old Faces

Update: I’m back from England. Out from the cold and into the heat.

Speaking of which, the heat is CRAZY. 34 degree Celsius at night. That’s what my phone tells me. Imagine what it’s like during the day.

So, my first week back to college was alright.

As usual, the first day of classes always make me super anxious. I spend the night before picking out what to wear – something decent but nothing that stands out too much because the last thing you want is for the lecturer to notice you, in the event they have a random Q&A in class. But you don’t want them to think you’re a hippie either.

“Give me examples of different cultures…. Kelly?”

Damn it.

And then I move on to packing my three pens into an oversized pencil case and I check to see if my wallet has my ID and money, like I did three minutes ago for the fourth time. I make sure my phone is fully charged, or just enough so I get to keep it close to my ear at night to increase the chances of me waking up in the morning. I set my alarms, the back up alarms and the back up for the back up, just in case. And then I try to sleep and fail miserably, like I do in preparing for any form of social activity with the outside world.

I honestly despise the first days of anything. I feel pressured into smiling at strangers I never met because my resting face is well, bitchy. Or so I’m told.

I try and smile at lecturers and be myself, but not too friendly just yet, because the last thing you want is for anyone to think you’re sucking up for good grades, even when you genuinely want to smile.

It takes so much of planning to look normal, it’s exhausting. I don’t know why I bother trying sometimes.

My aunty once asked me how do I even get on in college.

So my college ritual usually involves me sitting at the front of class, which by the way, take a lot of balls considering the person I am. Especially on the first day, cause I know there’ll be ice breakers.

Do not get me started on ice breakers. I always give the dumbest answers to the questions I’m asked and spend the rest of the semester (or life), as long as I know my lecturer, regretting it. They must think I’m stupid. Once I was asked what my favorite movie was in scriptwriting class and I said “The Dictator.”

I thought I was being funny.

This time around, we were asked why we chose to take this class and where do we see ourselves in five years.

I look around me and realize I have about half hour to come up with a decent answer and not royally screw up my first impression like I did in my diploma. One problem though, I don’t know where I want to be in five years yet. As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a little confused right now. I’m not as certain as I used to be.. Like, can I say both a journalist AND a filmmaker? Or does that sound silly? Do I have to pick just one?? Anyway, there’s still 24 minutes left to come up with something.

I know I enjoy writing but, writing what? Again, refer to my choices above and tell me how do I pick just one?? I like writing stories but I also like discussing politics online.. OH, THE DILEMMA.

If I say news, there’s a chance she might ask me about a current issue and then I’d have to keep standing up and speak longer when all I want to do is sit back down and observe everyone else.

So, bad idea. Next.

I have 15 minutes left now. Apparently half the class wants to do broadcasting.

There’s one guy who decided to give his life story and an introduction to Asian family feud. But heck, I’m next.

My turn comes and I can’t decide if I should face the class or the lecturer in front of me. So I just face somewhere in between, which is basically a wall while I struggle with eye contact. Who am I introducing my self to, really? Haha, I almost fell too. I can’t even remember how. I heared J-Han say from behind me, “Calm down, Kelly.”

Apparently I wasted my time brainstorming cause class was almost over and the lecturer wanted to make sure everyone had a chance to speak, so giving a vague answer worked in my favor.

“I like creative writing. ”

She asked me if I liked to daydream.

“Yes!”

Oh well. So that’s my first week for you. I was made the class rep for Animation class. Ironic because I am the absolute WORST at computers and drawing – both skills you need to ace the subject. But, I’m not complaining. My lecturer seems fun. All of them are friendly and approachable, which is the most important thing to me.

Therefore, first impressions aside, everything else was good. Which is more than I could ask for. And I know at least five old faces from diploma, which is great.

Now excuse me, I have notes to look at and drawing skills to brush up on.

 

Kelly