The Red Bookmark, an Old Diary and Childish Musings

The other day while I found my mind wandering inside the rich stories and historical culture narrated by an old book I recently started reading, the sound of my brother putting his pile of homework down on the dining table interrupted the temporary solitude I was enjoying.

Sticking out from the thick files and papers was a novel I remember convincing him to buy during a book sale last year and a dark blue faux leather Sherlock Holmes bookmark sandwiched in between the pages.

I recalled him buying that from London during our holiday in 2014 and him giving me the same bookmark, but in dark red.

Jealous, I stared down at my old and washed out bookmark that had a drawing of Cleopatra and some random hieroglyphs symbols printed on it and started to wonder where did my appealing red one go to. Don’t get me wrong though, I love my current Egyptian inspired bookmark I got during a family vacation in Langkawi, but this was far more attractive and mine was starting to look like a dried leave. Sort of. I’m exaggerating. I mean, it was cool when I was reading Chronicles of The Pharaohs because of how well the book and the mark went together. But still, the red one was simply too lovely!

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*P.S: You can find a picture of the red bookmark on this link. My brother’s book is nowhere in sight at the moment. But, it is almost the same thing. Pretty, isn’t it? *Cue the deep sigh*

I went through my already messy room and looked through the likely places I would’ve left the bookmark in and found no sign of it. Asked my brother and he is almost convinced he already gave it to me. I was disappointed. And to think only an hour earlier, I couldn’t care less about anything else other than the book I had in my hands.

Annoyed and frustrated, I decided to give my room a more thorough look and much needed ‘spring clean’. Let’s just be clear that my mum and I are incredibly particular about hygiene, so my room is cleaned and mopped everyday. However, tidiness isn’t exactly what my room is best known for. I still had Christmas presents stacked together at the back of the door and some books pilled over one another on my desk and near my bed. My bookshelf was and still is packed with the Mr.Midnight stories I used to read in school, along with recipe journals and these super thick books my grandfather used to give me for birthdays and Christmas. Everything was a complete mess, just like my thoughts at the time.

So, as mentioned in my last post, I decided that clearing or cleaning one would have the same cathartic effect on the other. It worked! I got rid of old papers and assignments but kept all my textbooks. Honestly, I didn’t realize how much unwanted pieces of paper I had hiding in every corner of my room this entire time. I came across many things I didn’t have the slightest need for (picture below) but not a single sign of the red bookmark.

I know it seems like a lot of work for a tiny piece of faux leather, but if you’re a bookworm, these little things matter to you. You cannot imagine the frustration of having to go through all that hard work and old dust and leaving without the one thing you were looking for.

Anyway, I did however, come across an old diary of mine.

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‘Pink Power’ . I know. Go ahead, laugh.

I found the paper trail of all the silly musings my 13 year old self used to write about. Took me back to the days of school boy crushes and when I spelled “chip” when what I really meant was “cheap”.

Going through the diary felt nostalgic. It instantly brought back old butterflies as I went through the pages of a younger me writing lists about my crushes and even longer lists about why I hated the catty girls in secondary school. I can’t believe I dedicated a page and a half of bad handwriting bitching about other half sized humans back then.

Oh, I just love how the paranoid kid in me made sure to blacken the embarrassing parts that could have potentially been used by my brother to blackmail me for five bucks at the time. Funny how after all these years, I still remember the words I blacked out and what they said.

I used to give all the boys I liked the codename ‘Cat’ while my friend Charlene called her’s ‘Dog’. Lol.

I came across the page where I vowed to study one subject every day for an hour and double that on the weekends while also making empty promises to finish my homework on time. I roughly remember the thoughts that went through my head as I wrote those things down at the time. I wanted to be the ‘smart’ one in school. Sadly, that only worked out for me in English and Science back then. But I managed to make up for that in college in any way I could! So, I’m not feeling that guilty about it now – everything worked out fine!

I do wish I had continued writing in my diary regularly back then so that I would have had more material to go through today. But silly me was only inspired to pick up the pen when Elena Gilbert did on The Vampire Diaries.

Well, I didn’t find what I was looking for, but I did have a nice stroll down puberty lane. It was worth the while actually, since I’m wayyy over those days of my questionable taste in boys, cat fights and pimples. All is good and everyone lived happily ever after.

 

The end!

Kelly

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